Day One: August 26 2009

--First things first: it was utterly terrifying. Completely and totally terrifying. Talking in front of a group of strangers is one thing. Talking in front of a group of strangers who think that you're an adult in a position of authority is another thing altogether. I stumbled through the introduction to the first class, but by 4th period I pretty much had my footing. I mentioned my cat too damn often.

--For future reference, I teach three AP Government classes and three on-level Government classes.

--For the most part, we went over the syllabus and supply list, and everyone introduced themselves and said how they felt about "government." Some students interpreted this to mean government as an institution, while others interpreted it to mean government as a subject in school. Their responses to this question included:

"I think that government is a good thing, as long as leaders base their decisions on facts and science."

"I'm taking this class because I'm Vietnamese and my parents said they would stop feeding me if I didn't take an AP class."

"I normally like the government, but I stopped paying attention because I hate Obama."

[Half the class rolls their eyes]

"What? How come every time I say I don't like Obama it's gotta be a race riot?"

"I'm Will, and I'm unusually gifted at politics."

"I'm taking this class because I have a crush on Mrs. Blank."

--The teenaged son of a well known SMCM professor is in one of my AP classes.

--The perky girl continues her visits, but is constrained to handshakes

--When it was over, it wasn't as scary as it seemed at first. There were no big blowouts, disasters, or fuckups. Everyone seems to accept that I'm supposed to be there; that I'm an adult and that I'm qualified to instruct children. How weird is that?

Back to School Night: Dispatches from the Front Lines

--A substantial percentage of her AP classes apparently were never given the summer assignment. They all have the same terrified look on their faces when they find out about it.

--Every time there was a kid with snakebites or gauges, they were never in one of my classes. Maybe there will be though. Maybe the kids with gauges in my classes were just too badass to bother showing up to back to school night.

--A large ginger bearded fellow, with a brood of ginger children, ambled in. When I extended my hand, he seemed to ignore it at first. Then, with apparent disdain, he took it. Our conversation was lulzworthy on many points, so I will give only a few choice quotes

Man with Undiagnosed Asperger's: So you're being trained to take the most dynamic, interesting topic and suck all of the life out of it?

William Dhalgren: Absolutely, I look forward to it!

MUA: You're not even going to try to make it interesting?

WD: Once you're a member of the teacher's union, you sign a contract promising to make all of your classes as boring as possible.

MUA: [lost interest when I wasn't put off or offended]

MUA: Are you going to teach how our government was founded on free market principles, but over the past half of a year has been creeping toward socialism?

And so on.

--One mildly emo, extremely perky junior promised to come visit our class every day. Our exchange went something like this:

Perky Emo: You're with Mrs. Blank? That means we're going to be best friends!

WD: Yeah, I look forward to it.

PE: Seriously, it'll start with high-fives, but at the end of the year it'll be hugs.

WD: I really doubt that.

PE: It'll happen. You just wait.

WD: I don't like to be touched.

PE: I'll make it happen.

WD: I've gone from joking-uncomfortable to real-uncomfortable.

PE: We've just started.

Then we spent the next 10 minutes talking about our cats.

That's all for back to school night!

Rules

#1. No real names. Not mine, not my students', not my mentor teacher's, not my classmates.

#2. No mention of what schools I'm teaching at. Though there are some hints.

#3. There are no other rules.

For your enjoyment and edification, the host proudly presents...

A venture in internet writings, in which the following will be attempted:

A chronicle of my experiences student teaching.

My progress in completing my Master's Research Project.

My thoughts on the news and shit that I'm reading.

Lets see if I make it past 20 posts.